Wednesday, November 23, 2011

IMPOSSIBLE

My father is the most difficult person in the world to please. I feel like there is literally NOTHING in the world that I can do to make him happy. It's really sad actually. For example, my ACT scores...they're pretty good. I worked hard to get the score I got. It's meaningless to him though, because I want to go to BYU. Now, if I was going to CU or TCU or wherever the heck else, my scores would be awesome. Or maybe the fact that I am a part time nanny. Yeah, I am a student, the lacrosse season (my LAST high school lacrosse season) is coming up, I'm in two AP classes, and I'm a nanny. It seems reasonable for me to work a couple times each week in order to make enough money to buy gas, and also put some in my savings account. But it's not enough for him. He works 9 hours everyday and provides for the whole family, when I work 9 hours a week and can't provide for even just myself. Yeah, you're right dad, I'm a failure, thanks for pointing that out.

I just don't understand. I don't know how long I can just take it. I'm going to lose it someday. I'll end up in a mental hospital where my ACT scores don't matter anyway. Nobody's perfect, and I'm not expecting him to be, but somehow he expects me to be. I can't be though. So this argument is just a circle that will never end......please, oh please let it end.

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