Joke of the Day

What's red and smells like blue paint?

.....Red paint.

Renewed

I got the typed version of my Patriarchal Blessing today. It is one of the greatest blessings (literally) that I have ever received. It has completely restored my faith in areas that I was lacking, and the darkness may finally be retreating. I'm ready to be free, to start where I want to start, and be who I need and want to be. Throughout my entire journey, these words have applied to me exactly:
"I am not who I was; I'm being remade. I am new, I am new."
What a beautiful, pure truth. I am new; I will start now, and continue along this journey of life with strength and courage. I will endure to the end. I will serve the Lord with all that I am, and listen to His words and the whisperings of the Holy Ghost. I will be worthy to receive guidance. I will love myself, others, and my Savior and king, Jesus Christ.

To be plain--

Sometimes, I just feel stuck. Stuck in this looming darkness, sadness, hopelessness... I would never wish this feeling on anyone.

To Do List: November 25, 2011

1. Pick up mom from work
2. Run 6 miles
3. Do Econ homework
4. Finish 2 more paragraphs of APUSH paper
5. Read :)

---------------------------------------------
(Noted later):
I did pick up my mother from work. I only ran 4.5 miles, but hey, I'm not complaining. I didn't do number 3 or 4 on my list...regretfully. I did number 5. Success? Eehhh, more or less.

POSSIBLE

HAPPY THANKSGIVING. Today was a perfect day. My mom and I cooked all day long. I made my first real pie, and it turned out great. Turkey, gravy, stuffing, green bean casserole, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, rolls, apple pie, pecan pie...everything homemade, home-cooked. It was delicious. Dinner was fun and everyone was happy. Of course everyone ate too much, but it was well worth it. We all took naps afterward, and my mom, my brother and I watched Elf. Now it is 10:15 and my parents are asleep, so it's just me and my brother. I'm sitting in the recliner with my book and my 2nd favorite blanket, with Christmas music playing and Spongebob muted on the TV. Everything seems perfect right in this moment: I wish I could freeze time and just sit and admire the peace that I feel right now. It is possible for us to get along and have a wonderful day together. I love my family; of all my many blessings, they are what I am most thankful for. Next to my Savior and King, Jesus Christ. I am happy, truly happy. Happy Thanksgiving indeed. :)
Apple Pie!

IMPOSSIBLE

My father is the most difficult person in the world to please. I feel like there is literally NOTHING in the world that I can do to make him happy. It's really sad actually. For example, my ACT scores...they're pretty good. I worked hard to get the score I got. It's meaningless to him though, because I want to go to BYU. Now, if I was going to CU or TCU or wherever the heck else, my scores would be awesome. Or maybe the fact that I am a part time nanny. Yeah, I am a student, the lacrosse season (my LAST high school lacrosse season) is coming up, I'm in two AP classes, and I'm a nanny. It seems reasonable for me to work a couple times each week in order to make enough money to buy gas, and also put some in my savings account. But it's not enough for him. He works 9 hours everyday and provides for the whole family, when I work 9 hours a week and can't provide for even just myself. Yeah, you're right dad, I'm a failure, thanks for pointing that out.

I just don't understand. I don't know how long I can just take it. I'm going to lose it someday. I'll end up in a mental hospital where my ACT scores don't matter anyway. Nobody's perfect, and I'm not expecting him to be, but somehow he expects me to be. I can't be though. So this argument is just a circle that will never end......please, oh please let it end.

AAHHHHHHHHmawkoesj87qjwdkjanzpwei55?mnjs

That awkward moment when you cant watch a Rated-R movie because you're Mormon...